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October 06 25 Signs you have grown up 25 SIGNS YOU HAVE GROWN-UP 1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them. 2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question. 3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge. 4. 6:00 a.m. is when you get up, not when you go to bed. 5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator. 6. You watch the Weather Channel. 7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of 'hook up' and 'break up.' 8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14. 9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as 'dressed up.' 10. You're the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door won't turn down the stereo. 11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you. 12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore. 13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up. 14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers. 15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt. 16. You take naps. 17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one. 18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach. 19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests. 20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer 'pretty good shit.' 21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time. 22. 'I just can't drink the way I used to' replaces 'I'm never going to drink that much again.' 23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work. 24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar. 25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking 'Oh shit what the hell happened?' Bonus: 26: You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old ass. July 20 Being a GeorgianThings I have learned being a Georgian
1- Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.
2- There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Georgia.
3- There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Georgia plus a couple no one's seen before.
4- Squirrels will eat anything.
5- Unknown critters love to dig holes under tomato plants.
6- Raccoons will test your crop of melons and let you know when they are ripe.
7- If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.
8- Onced and twiced are words.
9- It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy.
10- Fire ants consider your flesh as a picnic.
11- People actually grow and eat okra.
12- Fixinto is one word.
13- There is no such thing as "lunch". There is only dinner and then there is supper.
14- Ice-tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar!
15- Backards and forwards means "I know everything about you."
16- Jeet? Is actually a phrase meaning, "Did you eat?'
17- You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH them.
18- You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
July 11 You Know you're from Georgia if:You know you're from Georgia if:
You measure distance in minutes.
You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
You use "fix" as a verb, Example: I'm fixing to go to the store."
All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.
You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
You know what a "DAWG" is.
You carry jumper cables in your car... for your OWN car.
You only own four spices: salt, pepper, tabasco and ketchup.
The local papers cover national & international news on one page but require 6 pages for local gossip & sports.
You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
You find 100 degrees fahrenheit "a little warm".
You know all 4 seasons: Almost Summer, summer, still summer and Christmas.
You know whether another Georgian is from Atlanta, North or South Georgia as soon as they open their mouth.
Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past time known as "goin' Wal-Martin" or "off to Wally World".
You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good pinto-bean weather.
A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola or pop... it's a coke, regardless of brand or flavor. Example: "What kinda coke do you want?"
Fried catfish is the other white meat.
We don't need no stinking driver's ed... If our Mama says we can drive, we can drive.
You understand these jokes and forward them to your friends from Georgia. (And those who just wish they were). Not EVERYONE can be a Georgian, it's an art form and a gift from God!
April 09 Cooking DiaryThis Week's Cooking Diary
Monday-
I decided I was going to cook for my husband Danny. Today, I made an angel food cake. The recipe said to beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some extra bowls.
Tuesday-
Danny wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said to serve without dressing. So I didn't dress. What a surprise when Danny brought a friend home for supper.
Wednesday-
A good day for rice. The recipe said to wash thoroughly before steaming the rice. It seemed kind of silly, but I took a bath anyway. I can't say it improved the rice any.
Thursday-
Today, Danny asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe. It said to prepare the ingredients, then toss on a bed of lettuce an hour before serving. Danny asked me why I was rolling around in the garden.
Friday-
I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said to put the ingredients in a bowl and beat it. There must be something wrong with the recipe. When I got back, everything was the same as when I left.
Saturday-
Danny did the shopping today and brought home a chicken. He asked me to dress it for Sunday. For some reason he keeps counting to ten.
Sunday-
We had some people over for dinner. I wanted to serve a roast, but all I had was hamburger. Suddenly, I had a flash of genius, I put the hamburger in the oven and set the controls for roast. It still came out hamburger, much to my disappointment.
GOOD NIGHT DEAR DIARY
This has been a very exciting week. I am eager for tomorrow to come so I can try out a new recipe on Danny. If I can talk him into buying a bigger oven, I would like to surprise him with a Chocolate Moose. March 01 Southern WomenSouthern Women
Southern women appreciate their natural assets:
Clean skin
A winning smile
That unforgettable Southern drawl.
Southern women know their manners:
"Yes, ma'am"
"Yes, sir."
"Why, no, Billy!"
Southern women have a distinct way with fond expressions:
"y' all come back!"
"Well bless your heart."
"Drop by when you can."
"How's your Momma?"
Southern women Know their summer weather report:
Humidity
Humidity
Humidity
Southern women know their vacation spots:
The beach
The beach
The beach
Southern women know the joys of June, July and August:
Summer tans
Colorful hi-heel sandles
Strapless sun dresses
Souther women know everybody's first name:
Honey
Darlin'
Shugah
Southern women know the movies that speak to their hearts:
Fried Green Tomatoes
Driving Miss Daisy
Steel Magnolias
Gone With The Wind
Southern women know their religions:
Baptist
Methodist
Football
Southern women know their country breakfasts:
Red-eye gravy
Grits
Country ham
Mouth-watering homemade biscuits with momma's homemade jelly.
Southern womem know their cities dripping with Southern charm:
Charleston (Chawl'stn)
Savannah (S'vanah)
Atlanta (Addlanna)
New Orleans (N'awlins)
Southern women know their elegant gentlemen:
Men in uniform
Men in tuxedos
Rhett Butler, of course!
Southern women know their prime real estate:
The mall
The Country Club
The Beauty Salon
Southern women know the four deadly sins:
Having bad hair and nails
Having bad manners
Cooking bad food
Wearing too much makeup in the summer
Southern women know men may come and go,
but friends are fahevah!
If you're a Northern transplant, Bless your heart, fake it.
We know you got here as fast as you could......!!!
God knew what he was doing when he made Southern Women!!!!
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